Israel has claimed it will release information to Hezbollah concerning four Iranian diplomats captured in 1982. Apparently they have been detained inside a barb-wired, laser, Star-of-David/death.
The Persian daily Ettela’at reports that President Ahmadinejad has declared that Iran will “cut off any aggressive hands stretched towards the country”. No word on whether that was a figurative or literal declaration.
An Iranian state news agency headline claims in truthful honesty that “Iran’s nuclear work is quite transparent”.
Former president Khatami chides the U.S. that force cannot solve everything, as current president Ahmadinejad’s labour minister threatens to forcefully disband the Association of Iranian Journalists, a move presumably unrelated to the Association’s mastery of terrifying Zionist imagery.
Brandon @ June 27, 2008
It’s always election season. The World Post endorses the following candidates and parties:
Nassib Lahoud, President - Lebanon
Mr. Lahoud is the only credible anti-Syrian force in the upcoming election and is poised to take out his Syrian-hack cousin Emile.
The Reformist Coalition, Parliament - Iran
Though most of the Reform candidates were barred from running by Ahmadenijad’s Guardian Council,The Coalition vows to compete in the few seats they are permitted so as not to give up hope for democracy and secularism in Iran even though it will never come.
People’s Democratic Party, Parliament (1st election ever!) -Bhutan
The PDP may just be getting the hang of the whole representative democracy thing, but their view of politics is so peaceful and Buddhist that it’s darn-right cute - case-in-point, their platform plank of Gross National Happiness
People’s Justice Party, Parliament - Malaysia
They’re not going to win. Premier Badawi snaked the election date in a full month before jailed (convicted sodomist!) opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim would’ve been allowed to participate. But it would be nice to see an end to one party rule in Malaysia.
Chen Shui-bian, President - Taiwan
Chen will not take shit from China. He’ll stick his finger in their belly-button if given the opportunity. Challenger Lien Chan would love to take China out to Sonic for a milkshake and mac-n-cheese nuggets. Hopefully he wont get that chance. His position on China is like if the mayor of Miami endorsed Raul Castro, it’s unconscionable.
Barack Obama, President - U.S.A.
Obama opposed the war in Iraq - period. I had to vote for Kerry in 2004 against my better judgment. Those cowardly Dems that voted to authorize the`war deserve to be punished, or at least held accountable. CERTAINLY NOT nominated for or elected to the position on president. Barack has a myriad of other incredible qualities, strengths and accomplishments, but Iraq is why I personally endorsed him over a year ago when he didn’t have a chance in Hell, and it is still the starkest area of contrast between him and Hillary Clinton and John McCain.
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Brandon @ March 3, 2008
A State of Emergency declared in Armenia. This comes after a crackdown by police on protesters that have flooded the streets of several major cities including Yerevan and Gyumri. Levon Ter-Petrossian, the former Soviet Dictator and first Armenian President finished second to Prime Minister Serge Sarkisian in February 19th’s presidential contest, but has organized mass protests declaring the election a sham. Which it was:
Last week’s presidential election made a lawbreaker and a liar of Heghine, 26, a Vanadzor hairdresser.
A few days prior to February 19 she was visited by campaigners for the Republican Party of Armenia who offered her 5,000 (about $16) to vote for Serzh Sargsyan.
“They came to our place from the RPA district headquarters, wrote down our names, gave money, we signed and said good-bye,” Heghine says. The next day they have received a call from the headquarters reminding them to get ready to go for voting.
By taking money in exchange for a vote, Heghine broke the law. By voting for Levon Ter-Petrosyan, she lied. (She, like others, relayed her story to a third-party observer and spoke only on condition that her name be changed.)
Ter-Petrossian was promptly placed under house arrest or as it was explained to him by Sarkisian’s forces:
The U.N.’s OSCE has condemned the house-arrest.
The State Police claimed that Ter-Petrossian distributed weapons to angry crowds to incite riots (because he obviously wasn’t confined to his home).
31 have been injured. 2 killed. And an Armenian Member of Parliament was stabbed trying to stop protesters from brutalizing security forces (?).
Brandon @ March 2, 2008
This is part of the formidable Serbian resistance in Kosovo. Ireland recognizes Kosovo, Argentina refuses to. Which of these countries infamously hosted Nazi war criminals? The same country where Los Simpson was a #1 box office hit last summer. Nearly 200 Kosovar Serb police officers deserted the force since last week. Meanwhile the fledgling Kosovar government spin department has gotten off the ground and claimed that these officers were suspended (because that would somehow serve toward the end of bringing together Albanian and Serbian Kosovars - the counter-intuitive Unity-Through-Division strategy).
Brandon @ March 1, 2008
After nearly a year, the Presidential Election Petition Tribunal upheld the results of Nigeria’s presidential contest yesterday. Umaru Musa Yar’Adua was officially declared the victor over fomer vice president Atiku Abubakar. The Daily Champion presents two comically divergent opinions of the ruling:
•Victory for democracy –Yar’Adua
DANIEL IDONOR, Abuja.
•Rape on democracy –Atiku
MALACHY UZENDU,
Head Editorial, Abuja.
This ruling came in as President Yar’Adua over-rode the Senate’s vote to give themselves a 78% salary increase. But Yar’Adua made this concession for the impoverished lawmakers:
In a letter to the Senate, Mr Yar’Adua said he would approve a smaller 20% increase in order to stop committee members seeking bribes from ministries.
Brandon @ February 28, 2008
The ghost of Abacha is still robbing the people of West Africa.
“Islam is for the likes of Usama Bn Laden and Yariman Bakura to use and dump..” reads a scathing editorial that chastises the political use of Shari’a law and seems to endorse it at the same time
“Amina Lawal, an unmarried woman who would have been stoned to death for adultery put her faith in the common law and the friends she acquired during her travails. To her, Shari’a was also a blessing in disguise as she was offered the key to a European city, even if she wasn’t going to use it. The federal government also intervened and vowed not to allow any of its citizens to fry for the merriment of one overzealous bigot.”
Just a paragraph earlier - “In 2000 Buba Jangebe, a peasant became the toast of the dailies. He was the first Nigerian amputee, for stealing a cow, at the time, worth a little more than N30000. Lawal Isa, another amputee, had stolen three bicycles. Both men however saw their amputation as a blessing in disguise. The amputations reconciled them with their families and God. For the two, faith can move mountains.”
“Those who assume that Islam inevitably degrades into extremism have, by this development been exposed as chauvinists or bigots, or both.”
I think the point that wasn’t made is that amputating limbs over livestock would and should be considered ‘extreme’ under any circumstance (oops, I just exposed myself as a chauvanistic bigot [btw, isn’t that Scientology’s argument?])
Brandon @ February 1, 2008
Women pray earnestly for the recovery of Gen. Suharto, the mass murderer and former dictator who once banned the ethnic Chinese in Indonesia. Eighty-six year old Suharto has been hospitalized for multiple organ failure since January 4th but doctors report today he is making a “miraculous recovery”, and added he should be ethnically cleansing again within weeks. Protesters protest. Churches are desecrated in Western Java. But the governmental department of Overseeing the Peoples’ Beliefs decided not to ban the Muslim sect of Ahmadiyya after the sect agreed to denounce it’s central belief.
Brandon @ January 21, 2008
Dushanbe is experiencing a “rolling blackout” while the rest of the country is receiving 2-3 hours of electricity per day, just as the coldest day in the history of Tajikistan hits. Extreme energy shortages are nothing new since the fall of the Soviet Union, as result of the bureaucratic inefficiency of the crushing state monopoly. Parliament worked this past year to ameliorate the impending crisis, but apparently the December legislation imposing fines on sorcerers didn’t raise as much revenue as expected. On the cultural front, Education Minister Abdujabbor Rahmonov has instituted an anti-Islamic dress code for teachers and students in an effort to crush the Tajik people’s faith as well as their hopes and dreams.
Brandon @ January 20, 2008
Anointed presidential candidate Dmitry Medvedev, seen here bristling past Russian smelters en route to his golden palace, touts welfare expansion because Putin told him to. Freedom in Russia has been downgraded from “Bad” to “Worse” by the US organization Freedom House prompting a spike in Vladimir Putin’s approval ratings. The British Council has left Russia after staffers were allegedly intimidated by Russian officials. Russian officials responded by issuing a press release stating that foreign agencies are routinely offered a polonium laced gift basket, as per Russian custom.
Brandon @ January 18, 2008
